Laziness

"I also don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, 'I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand distributing.' So they can't resist."  --- Don Zaluchi in The Godfather.

The default state of the human being is to be lazy. It's that simple really. Why work hard if you can get the same rewards doing nothing? Or next to nothing. Thus it is that when you are in a position of relative trust, all sorts of characters will approach you and make you offers that you can't refuse. Offers such as a nice cut from almost 2kg of crack worth about N180 millions...

There are only two known ways to keep that kind of laziness/poverty/greed/whatever-else-you-want-to-call-it at bay, and those are either the death penalty, or a verrrrrrrrry long holiday.

Still on the theme of laziness/poverty/greed/whatever-else-you-want-to-call-it, in Owode, Ogun state, to pay his kids' school fees, Agboola Kolawole, aged 40, took the skulls of 4 of his relatives who no longer needed them and sold each for N8 thousands. More reason for me to be cremated when I'm gone eh?

Bits and bobs

No one can accuse pastors of laziness. In this Op Ed on YNaija, Victor Ikeji attempts to analyse the church's aggressive drive for customers.

Hakeem Ogunniran has been awarded N5 millions by a Lagos court based on the emotional trauma caused by Air Nigeria's negligence. Here's hoping that this will open the door for more suits against them and other airlines in Nigeria who regularly cause people trauma "due to operational reasons".

According to the Vanguard, the NGF may soon have two chairmen as a result of "subterranean moves" by the Prez. Yes, you read right, and I couldn't have put it better myself.

Meanwhile, in a nation at war, it has emerged that Oo Nwoye was dead right. Libyan weapons found their way to our shores.

Right of reply

Chris wrote,

I have issues with your evasive approach to issues.generally. Please don't sound like el rufai or take a sophist bent. You polarize ur view points simply based by points raised. Take a concrete stand sometimes, after all Newspapers Editorials boldly do that

Chxta responds,

The only reason I put this here is so that hopefully someone would send this to Uncle Nasir. It's kinda interesting to learn that he has an evasive approach to issues. Generally. And polarises his view points simply based by points raised. And doesn't take a concrete stand sometimes as newspaper editorials boldly do.

Orhie Oddiri wrote,

There is NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER for the terror, mayhem and carnage Boko Haram is unleashing on this country. I don't care if they murdered their leader and their next of kin.

Is that the right response to perceived hurt inflicted on one's person? Is it ok for the families of kidnap victims to take guns, go into the forest and slaughter everyone in there? Is it ok for the militants in the Niger-Delta to vandalise pipelines because they believe the Niger-Delta has been marginalised?

You're condoning vigilanteism and worse. You yourself once said that the response to the Fulani herdsmen was not to drive them away from Delta, but to report whatever grievances they have. That's what should have happened in the case of Boko Haram.

Chxta responds,

Err, I don't remember justifying the terror, mayhem and carnage that #BokoHaram used to unleash (they have been put to bed now). What I pointed out is that when you fail to address the root causes of a problem, and consistently leave a group or groups with a sense of unjust treatment, there is a very high possibility that they will eventually take up arms to get "justice" for themselves.

I believe that I have given examples in previous write ups.

Yusuf Sani wrote,

If a country wants to grow, law and order must be where it should start from, unfortunately for us in Nigeria, that's not the case.
All of us who believes in Nigerian, let us use the next opportunity that will come our way in 2015 if at all it will come, to vote out the present government and hope for better days.

Chxta responds,

Yusuf, the first part of your statement I totally agree with. On the second part, our country will not improve simply by voting out the present government. To be honest, if the opposition fails to present a sensible candidate, then we would be on a hiding to nothing. The price of freedom/democracy is eternal vigilance. What we must learn to do is to watch our leaders regardless of who they are, and bring them to account regardless of what part of the country they hail from.

More to come

First off, apologies for the mistakes in yesterday's newsletter, and thanks to those who pointed them out. They have been rectified on the blog, and whatever punishment that Adora feels is appropriate  I will gladly receive.

Yes, mistakes/errors/insert-expletive-here are something that we don't punish in Nigeria. Which is one of the things that contribute to our culture of impunity where certain geezers believe that they can say/do anything, and there will be no repercussion whatsoever. Now consider if in 2009 the person who shot Muhammed Yusuf had been arrested and brought to justice? Consider if the person that gave the order for that extra-judicial killing had been tracked down and brought to justice? It is only logical to assume that had those follow ups happened, then we would not be witnessing the current war in our country's north-east.

Consider that 46 of our security agents were killed just over two weeks ago, and one ethnic jingoist later, we are yet to hear of any major arrests connected to that killing. Now another ethnic group have made the complaint that the same group accused of killing the security agents have killed seven of their own, and there has been nothing to it. Make no mistakes, if the Fulani grievances are not addressed, they will feel obliged to take the law into their hands, and the vehicle of impunity will roll on with reckless abandon.

Bits and bobs

Speaking of impunity, an alleged #BokoHaram commander was killed on Sunday, 120 chaps turned up for his funeral on Monday. They are currently having a tête-a-tête with the JTF.

Their more sensible comrades have taken to the mountains.

Still on impunity, we have once again been reminded that in 2015 our votes would not count.

The new passport to free air if you're accused of a crime in our country is to claim to have brucellosis. Then your passport would be given you because our hospitals can't sort you out.

"One blow, seven die" was a phrase I grew up hearing used to describe particularly strong people. Well, apparently, a single blow can kill provided the puncher is wearing a certain ring.

Water is life. In Ghana, the scramble for T.B. Joshua's holy water left 4 dead.

Right of reply

From Friday, 

Oo Nwoye wrote (in response to Od Davids),

This thing don turn mini social network :). 

My response to Od and Chxta: (We have to assume a paragraph of text can solve this problem)

If I were president, I would go after the known leaders and not the foot soldiers. Give them the LAST warning and institute a special accelerated court that would go from trial to death sentence is a matter of 2 months. For the fun/impact of it of it, I will ensure one of the known big men ring leaders (ex Govs, Senators etc) gets a death sentence and is pardoned a few hours to the execution. While doing that, I will instigate unprecedented economic activity of rebuilding the destroyed cities.

I will apply same in parallel in the South of Nigeria. 

When there is consequence for action and that consequence is applied to EVERYONE, 90% of the problems would be solve. 

Of course, if I were president, I would not have supported the invasion of Libya where more weapons and fighters are on their way to Nigeria. Or have Asari Dokubo as my protector and spokes person.

Well, we have to start from somewhere.

Laniyan Kehinde wrote,

I beg to disagree with you. I think the north declared war on the north and Jonathan only assisted in sustaining the war. He had no choice in this matter but to take on the insurgents on the terms they have said they wanted. Didnt you see this in all Boko Haram has published till date? If you have not, then do more study. Even going by your analysis of the origin of the ideology of Boko Haram, the north has been so negligent and Jonathan should not be blamed for this war. Most leqders in north prefer to engqge in denial than fqce the fact, for example El-Rufai once said on the TV that Jonathan is the promoter of Boko Haram. Today he has stopped comenting. You said the ideology of Boko Haram did not come from Islam. Your conclusion is not correct. That ideology certainly did not come from Christianity. Few examples of moderate Islamic countries is not enough for you not to trace the origin to a variant of Islamic ideology. Examples of such abound for us to draw a conlusion different from yours. 

Chxta responds,

I only take exception to your attempt to make Islam look like a religion of murder. 
Fact: every religion is open to interpretation by all sorts of yahoos for their own ends. 
Fact: Islam has done more good for this world than it has evil. (You might want to read about the Dark Ages)
Fact: Christianity does not have a shortage of its own yahoos either. (You might want to read about the Ku Klux Klan)
Recommended reading: Exodus 21: 12-17 KJV.

Khadijat wrote,

One particular paragraph of your's, though, I absolutely reject.

(No Sirs, you declared war on your own people by not taking care of them. #BokoHaram has provided them an alternative, no matter how flawed that alternative may be. #BokoHaram has provided them with what you have so spectacularly failed to provide them.) emphasis mine.

What is this alternative to which you refer. Schools, medical care, infrastructure, security, livelihoods?????? Why would people support BH? The same phantoms who kill muslims and others and cause even more to be killed by a knee-jerk JTF. No no no....the only thing BH has brought to Northern brethren is LOSS, PAIN and FEAR as if we didn't have enough on our plates being at near zero levels on all indicators that matter. 

While these two elephants fight, we the grass have little chance.

I do not know if the SoE is a good idea, but definitely something had to be done and I pray that the Lord who has dominion over all matters will bring this nightmare to an end.

Chxta responds,

Hi Khadijat,

Boko Haram provided a commune for the people who had more or less been abandoned by their governments. One thing that Muhammed Yusuf and his band did back then was to make sure that people were fed and catered for. I have no reason to believe that that practice did not continue even after he was murdered. Consider what such a thing would mean to someone who's income for a month sometimes never exceeds naira talatin...

From yesterday,

Maduabuchi Okoye wrote,

let Boko haram go to blazes with their fish,we in the East can do without their useless fish

Chxta responds,

Very succinctly put Madu. Now tell me, which one state in the East is a paragon of efficiency? Is it Abia that is retrenching "non-indigenes" who happen to be from Imo from their civil service? Or is it Ebonyi who have denied Ibeto the right to run Nkalagu Cement simply because he is not from that state, and in the process crippling a viable economic channel?

Matters of the absurd

According to the last reliable data we have, which comes from 2007, Nigeria produces 600,000 metric tonnes of fish per annum. In that year, we imported 740,000 metric tonnes of fish. In that year, demand was 2.66 million metric tonnes, which implied that we had a national shortfall that year of 1.32million metric tonnes of fish. Considering that fish accounts for 35% of our animal protein, that shortfall is huge. One more statistic, the Lake Chad Basin accounts for almost a third of our fish production.

These statistics, are backed up by this report from This Day this morning in its story which informs us that prices of fish and beef in Lagos are on the rise because of the state of emergency in our country's north-east. This incident goes to show just how interdependent we are in this country. Some of us refuse to admit it, but we all need each other, and that is what makes Thursday's protest by as many as 400 Catholic priests in Imo state even more ridiculous.

The Robes were protesting the fact that the Pope in his wisdom decided to appoint another Robe, Monsignor Okpalaeke, also an Igbo chap, as Bishop of Ahiara. Seeing that Catholics believe that any pronouncement made by the Pope ex cathedra is infallible, were I Pope, I'd de-robe every last one of those geezers.

Bits and bobs

The war in the north-east rages on, but it appears that we are winning.

Apparently all of my Urhobo friends would take to the streets in their birthday suits if GEJ refuses to run for Prez in two years. I love the comment that went with that story, so Ese, Benji, Tega et all, make una exercise before that protest o. I want to see toned bodies, not flab.

In Abuja, Mrs Achebe and children have been listed as special guests to the funeral of Onye Nkwuzi.

ThisDay has sorted its staff. The tragedy is that it took a Mexican stand-off to achieve that.

P.S: No right of reply today as I have a meeting in a few minutes. I'll respond to the myriad of emails that came in response to Friday's newsletter tomorrow.
P.S2: The Sokoto/Kebbi area produces more fish than the Borno area. How about that?

Who declared this war?

Truth is bitter, or so the old saying goes. However, if you want to have any form of progress, you have to tell yourself the truth, or a variation of it at least. So let's tell ourselves some hard truths.

Our country's north has some of the worst indices of human development on God's green earth. One of the states in which a state of emergency was declared, Yobe, had only 74 students register for the National Common Entrance Examinations in 2011. Kebbi, also a northern state, had 82! Nigeria is one of only three countries on earth that still has cases of polio. A disease we came close to eradicating ten years ago. The poverty rates in the different geo-political zones of the north are 59.7% (North-Central), 69% (North-East) and 70% (North-West), poverty being defined as those who live on less than US$1 a day. The irony of all of this, is that save the South-South states, Adamawa state, one of the #SoE states, gets more from the federation account (sharing the money), than any state in the South-East as an example. As a matter of fact, both Adamawa and Bauchi get more revenue per person than Ogun, Oyo, Lagos, Anambra, and Enugu.

And no, the problem with Northern Nigeria is not as a result of Islam. Some of the most progressive countries on the planet, think Turkey and Qatar, are Islamic countries. No, the problem with Northern Nigeria is the naked greed and avarice of the successors of Ahmadu Bello. That is the reason why, from the safety of the Musa Yar'Adua Centre in Abuja, these geezers can tell the President that he has "declared war on the north"!

No Sirs, you declared war on your own people by not taking care of them. #BokoHaram has provided them an alternative, no matter how flawed that alternative may be. #BokoHaram has provide them with what you have so spectacularly failed to provide them.

Bits and bobs

Sadly the ACN decided to play politics with the #SoE in the North. This hard-hitting editorial tells them precisely where to stuff that play.

While commending the Prez on #SoE, and seeking compensation for those displaced, Igbo traders are returning to their shops in the affected states. After all, nke bu maka okwu ego...

While we look at the unfolding historical events in the North, the pettiness in Rivers gets even more petty.

Segun Ogunmola will get a few strokes of the cane for theft. One wonders why the Wig, Adams Adesina of Mapo Magistrate’s Court was not in charge of the pensions scam trial.

Charles Ikechukwu was tired of his Nigerian passport and felt that Guyana is a better country. N1,150,000 later, and Anne Chukwurah's prayers had still not produced the passport.

Finally, No Future Ambition is keeping the Kenyan footie body guessing as to when Papa Eagles will arrive in Kenya to collect their 3 goals from the Harambee. Of course their consciences are not clear, after all, we did this to the Harambee. Only the Almighty knows what drills that those milk drinkers have in store for Obi Wan-Kenobi et al...

Right of Reply

Od Davids wrote, (in response to Oo Nwoye yesterday)

Oo my muan,

What's your point? Give the man some credence. The insecurity in those parts has assumed dimensions beyond your simple comprehension and the conventional methods you insinuate have proven ineffective. 

The man has tried a lot of *gentleman* means yet the dudes have refused to reason. I think its time to firm up lest we inadvertently lose our already shaky sovereignty. My two Cedis.

Hassan Awodi wrote,

A part of me is praising the president for the very first for this action and a part is scared of the innocent lives that will be lost again.

I hope there is clear rules of engagement else we may not achieve anything other than total chaoes.

I have had conversations with friends in the military who are muslims and from the North and am at least happy to deduce that, they dont see it as a way of killing Nigerians in that part of the country(I hate to use the North/South lingua). It becomes dangerous when those in the military begin to think like most of us.

Our military needs to be told that, just aiming and shooting innocent people will never cut. The country needs to invest heavily in our intelligence assets. Most times, the use of leathal force is the very last option. We need to be more proactive.

Jay-Jay Olu wrote,

I think we have finally, inadvertently, stumbled upon the real cause of all our problems: no original thinking!

Original thinking

Late Prof. Achebe was a candid man. Candid enough to reject at least two Nigerian national honours in his life because, well, because the system here's quite broke and nothing ain't being done to fix it. Now, the man has died. And our gavels want to give him similar national honours. For an all too fleeting moment, some common sense ruled because when Chris Ngige suggested a post-humus GCON for Onye Nkwuzi, someone said it would not be appropriate, because Onye Nkwuzi rejected the award oge o di ndu. However, the common sense promptly took the next available flight out of the chambers, and the Gavels went on to recommend to the FG that Onye Nkwuzi be given a state funeral and a major national highway be named after him. Oh well, since we are not into granting people's wishes after they have shuffled off of this mortal coil, why not just grant him the GCON, build a bust of him at Nkpor, then abandon it like various statues that dot our landscape so all manners of yahoos can come and stick posters on it. You see, Onye Nkwuzi finally left Nigeria behind because a car accident on a bad road left him in a wheelchair for the final 22 years of his life. What an irony it would be if a Chinua Achebe Way is potholed at some point in the future...

Talking about ironies, Chris Mamman (remember him from yesterday?) is in the news again. The ethnic champion is turning reality on its head and has in one fell swoop absolved the Ombatse Cult of the murder of 56 Nigerian security operatives. What is even more interesting, is that he failed to tell us whodunnit.

Bits and bobs

ACN parrot, Lai Mohammed, has urged the gavels to reject the State of Emergency in two ANPP states and one PDP state. While simultaneously failing to give us an alternative solution to the #BokoHaram menace, Uncle Lai said that the Prez's decision lacked "original thinking". On it's part, the CPC, has asked us to rally around the Prez in this trying times. A more mature perspective if you ask me...

Meanwhile the troops have more or less sealed up the capitals of the recalcitrant states.

Still on security, after a certain fashion, Lagos has given Neighbourhood Watch 500 stun guns.

Away from security for today, to the lack of security for tomorrow, and the NLC is showing a lack of "original thinking" (thanks Uncle Lai). Despite the failure of countless "indefinite strikes", the labour union is backing the Nigerian Union of Teachers as they embark on an indefinite strike starting in two weeks. Let me borrow another leaf from Uncle Lai here. I don't know what to do to solve the problem of non-payment of teachers' agreed increments.

Meanwhile yet another one that should have us all quaking, Diamond Bank staff went on the march yesterday because of money matters. Now zipping off to check my account balance...

Right of Reply

Eme Okon wrote,

What Henry Uti wrote about the attitude of the Fulani herdsmen is correct. I have never seen a more troublesome set of people. The constitution in stating that we are free to reside anywhere, did not legalize the senseless killings, rape and destruction of other peoples property, or did it?

I say if you come to my land, either inherited or purchased with my hard earned cash, and you begin to terrorise me, like Presido did, I will declare a state of emergency on my land and evict you fast. They should use their brains for once, like henry said, for alternative grass cultivation or forget the damn business. Afterall, read meat is dangerous to the heart.

Chxta responds,

Why not take it to the logical conclusion then and give each of us the right to bear arms so that we can defend our land? There is everything wrong with the Delta state government's actions. To put it simply, it lacks "original thinking". Such matters should be resolved on a case-by-case basis, and not with a sweeping removal of the rights of a whole peoples.

Chidi Okoye wrote,

I think allowing the affected governors continue perching on their seats is a smart way of avoiding military leaders getting carried away by the state purse strings. The argument by some is that the governors may interfere with military operations; knowing the Nigerian Army, I doubt that.

Austin wrote,

Citizens wonder why the state of emergency declared in Ekiti and Plateau state under the Obasanjo government had the governors replaced by military administrators and the one declared presently do not? For me both scenarios are different the former showed a great incompetence and complication of the situation by the affected governors, while the latter shows an overwhelming hopelessness of the governors with all the best intentions to quell the crisis. In any case let's pray a solution is in sight and civilian casualties are kept at the barest minimum.

Oo Nwoye wrote,

Any fool can deploy an army to wipe out villages. Have we not learned form Odi? To what end is the deployment? Will the soldiers follow the animals across the border to Niger? How long do they think they can stay there? Will they kill all the males in Boronu and Yobe? What would be the long term repercussion of what we all know will be a random destruction of life and property? What is the long term plan to sort things out permanently?

Being president means you have unlimited carrot and sticks. Being able to know when and how much to apply it makes ALL the difference. 

So when you guys finish clapping for the obvious tactless deployment of force, and things 'settle', wait for the monster that will arise from the ashes.

Cheers. 

NB: I am not against the deployment of force.

Chxta responds,

Dear Oo, I await your "original thinking".